


Hide My Light in Your Rhythm.

by meadowmyangel1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Age Difference, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Bad Parent John Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Makes Mistakes, Dancer Castiel (Supernatural), Dancer Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Depression, Dyslexic Dean Winchester, Gentle Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Road Trips, Sad Dean Winchester, Shibari, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2020-02-09 18:11:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meadowmyangel1/pseuds/meadowmyangel1
Summary: Dean’s life ends when Mary passes away, but his love for dance and music lives on. Getting away from the abuse at home, he gets into CalArts. There Dean finds friends and a place he can be free to explore his passions. He comes into contact with one fiery blue-eyed professor. Castiel and Dean constantly bang heads, and it makes Dean's life hell. Will Dean’s life ever run smoothly so he can find his wings and fly?





	1. Broken Wings.

**Author's Note:**

> -HIATUS--HIATUS-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean runs away from his abusive dad and not so nice little brother. With the help of his teachers. Dean finds a friend in his roommate and mom finding a new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings. (Homophobic language.)

Dean’s beloved mother passed away one dull November morning. There was nothing special about the day, but Dean had lost his light, his hope and faith for no one truly understood him. No one else truly loved him like his mother, Mary. Dean only had one ally in life, one protector and now nothing. Only a long dusty road of life ahead of him.

 

Now Dean was much like his mother, loved cooking, loved to grow and plant their own food, but also loved dance of any kind especially ballet. The young boy enjoyed the ebb and flow of the music, the joy it brought him. Dean wished he could learn, but knew it was too late for that, not even his kind gentle mother would dare let him have lessons. Dean would listen to music on his mp3 player, watch clips on YouTube and clear his browser in fear of being caught.

 

John Winchester was a man that would frown at the use of his sons using a straw because it resembled a dick. No son of his would be a sissy fag. John disliked Dean cooking until his older son pointed out it was the only way there were going to be fed. There was another problem in the older Winchesters life his younger brother Sam. He was the apple of the man’s eye. The boy was going places, and John would beat Dean if he got in the way and Sam would play on that.

 

Dean had a higher GPA than his brother, yes, he was a senior to Sam’s freshman, but it would make him smile that he could get into any school on a free ride, and soon he would be out of there. The teachers at school knew all about his home life, Mary had spoken to them told them not to send report cards home, told them to keep an eye on Dean. Mary cried because she thought she would last longer for her son to escape the abuse at home. Being beaten down for years, she knew her son would do great things. Mary wanted him to fly.

 

No one came to Dean’s graduation, he smiled as the class Valedictorian, told his class, to never let anyone hold him back. Victor Henricksen, a math teacher at Dean’s school, gave him an old pick up. Missouri, his Latin teacher, pushed a red book into his hand and a letter saying Mary had given it to her. Told him to never look back, and not return.

 

The night before Dean left his dad was drunk, Sam was acting up saying he wanted more food.

 

“Give the boy something to eat,” John growled.

 

“This is all we have, dad.”

 

“Then give him what’s on your plate, your worthless ass doesn’t need it.”

 

Sam was smug, knowing his brother was in trouble. “Fine if that’s what you want.” Dean pushed his plate over.

 

“You need to come work for us at the garage, Marty left. I expect you down there nine, on Monday.”

 

Sam snorted. “Least I know I won’t have to work as a grease monkey the rest of my life.”

 

“Futue te ipsi” Dean caught Sam’s confused face, and John looked blank, nothing new there.

 

“Trying to be smart?”

 

“I am, more than you know.”

 

“Why you little shit.” John took a swing and hit Dean in the face.

 

Dean turned pale green eyes towards his brother. “Hope your happy Sam, all I ever did was care for you, like a brother should when I’m gone hope you realise that.”

 

“What do you mean?” Sam questioned shocked. 

 

Dean shook his head sadly and went upstairs, knowing he would not see both Sam or his dad for a long time. He tried to sort his face out, grabbed some pain killers but locked his door. Getting his headphones he got lost in the music, sending him away to better times.

 

The next morning with Sam at school and Dad, at work. Dean went around the block with the last of his belongings and started out for college. You can run through, but you can never hide from your past, it always follows and haunts you unless you deal with it.

 

Dean had gotten into CalArts a college not easy to get into, he got a full-ride only three of the full scholarships the school offered each year. Although the dancing side was a non-issue, his music, written, and drama work was top notch with his grades and transcripts from teachers. Dean knew he would need a job, but was not scared of hard work, he would do this for his mom and himself.

 

Moving into his dorm, he met Kevin and his mom, who looked at him with worry with one box, a beat-up case and an old computer to move in with.

 

“Where's your family Dean?” Mrs Tran asked kindly.

 

“Mom died and dad he gave me this and my brother Sam he…” Dean shrugged the comment off. 

 

“We're going out for dinner, and you're coming with us, you'll need a job and Ellen as an opening. We'll go see her, don’t keep me waiting.” The tiny Asian woman marched off in her no-nonsense shoes.

 

“Dude your moms scary,” Dean said to the smaller boy next to him.

 

“You try living with her Dean, come on; she doesn't like to be kept waiting.”

 

The boys sat in a booth at the Roadhouse. It was a friendly, family-run bar and grill. It sat in the college district of the city. The boys could see both women watching them and Dean wondered what Mrs Tran was saying.

 

“I think, she would have kept me at home, if it was not compulsory, we had to stay in dorms the first year.”

 

“Lease you have a mom that cares,” Dean said sadly.

 

“Yeah, sorry dude.” Kevin was contrite.

 

“S’ok” Dean shrugged.

 

“So young man I hear you need a job? I’m Ellen Harvelle, by the way, the owner of this fine establishment.”

 

Dean stood up and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ma’am.”

 

“Mmm, a boy with manners. Can you cook boy?”

 

“My burgers are the best.” Dean grinned.

 

“Well, I best try them, come tomorrow, orientation doesn’t start until Monday you have time.”

 

That night Dean lay in bed thinking about the future, he had a job, made a friend it was a start, and that’s all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Futue te ipsi Fuck you or Go fuck yourself.


	2. Lift Off.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean walks around campus and encounters a certain blue-eyed professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: (Homophobic Language)

With the account, his Mom had started Dean managed to get school supplies and clothes. Freshers week went off with a bang, but he and Kevin met up with a girl called Charlie and some other like-minded freshmen. They preferred to play games on the PlayStation and sit up and watch Harry Potter until late.

 

Dean soon got into his classes the first week was tiring, but he loved every minute of it. Playing guitar and piano, the only time he could express himself was at school. Here he was free, and no one scolded him, but it was hard not to search for disapproving stares. Dean, however, did find that in one messy-haired blue-eyed dance professor.

 

The college was used by the community. The gym and swimming pool were open for local schools on a Tuesday and Thursday. The school's dance studios nestled next door to them. Dean wanted to observe because his next week's classes would be in there. The younger man was bored. Kevin was out, so he wandered around campus until he found the studio.

 

Dean heard the music first, somewhat muted with the glass in the way. It was Felix Mendelssohn’s Midsummer’s Night’s Dream if his memory recalled correctly. The man had his back to him, but Dean could see his reflection in the dance glass at the end of the studio. The man had tousled black hair, and his eyes were closed, he danced with grace and style. His muscles rippled under his pink latex leggings and cut sleeved top. The man was mesmerising to Dean, was everything he wished to emanate.

 

Suddenly a noise came from his right kids leaving the gym. Dean glanced over and shook his head no respect at all. They came closer to where he stood, not liking their proximity.

 

“Luke that dude a right fag.” The kids all laughed, and Dean glared at them but was too scared to say anything.

 

The five boys banged against the glass and shouted disparaging comments, it made Dean feel sick and hot. It was like he was back home again. He saw the man inside stop and turn around and storm out of the studio.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” The man shouted at the boys.

 

“Watching a sissy dance.” One boy shouted, and the others joined in.

 

“I know what school you're from you won’t be allowed back, now get the fuck out of here.”

 

“You can't do that.” Remarked the boy who Dean thought was called Luke.

 

“Watch me, and when you grow up maybe, you can come back.”

 

The boys left a little quieter then they arrived. Dean tried to go but the man was angry, his blue eyes were alight with flames and his jaw tight, his fists clenched.

 

“You, go here? If I find you near my studio again saying shit like that, I will have you removed so fast you won’t know what hit you.” The older man fumed.

 

“B-ut I never did-” Dean stammered.

 

“I don’t want you fucking excuses now go.”

 

Dean felt tears prick his eyes but managed to turn around and leave.

 

Castiel marched back in and picked his towel up. Gabriel came over to him.

 

“That kid, the one with the pretty green eyes, he was not involved Cassie, you should not jump to conclusions, you of all people should know that.”

 

“Well he could have said something; he was stood watching me before.”

 

“It’s a free country, he was not doing anything wrong. The poor kid was terrified.”

 

“If I see him, I'll talk to him okay. I’m still ringing that school up though.”

 

“So, you should now go home calm down and sleep.”

 

“Sure, big brother, thanks.”

 

“That’s what obnoxious big brothers are for.” Gabriel winked and went out of the studio leaving the older man with his dark thoughts.


	3. Falling Down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes to his first class with Castiel and it does not go well.

Dean rushed to his dance lesson, it was a requirement and although he could not dance the school still wanted him to take the class. They had a show coming up and wanted him to write the music and help his class arrange the choreography. Dean was pleased to do this and was looking forward to it, that was until he saw the professor. Dean knew from that moment his life was about to go to hell.

 

Dean sat down at the back, hoping he would not be noticed. Everyone else knew about the younger man’s aim in the class, and they all supported him. All his class were dressed in their dance gear except for him of course.

 

“Hello, my name’s Professor Castiel Novak. Most people call me Castiel, Professor or Cassie if you’re my older brother but please don’t call me that.” The class laughed along at the little joke. “You will know my big brother he teachers here Professor Gabriel Novak,” 

 

Castiel regarded the class, his eyes landing on Dean, he realised the boy was not dressed.  _ ‘So the boy was not taking this class serious then.’ _

 

“Mr Winchester, can I ask why you're not ready for my class?”

 

“I don’t take dance, I’ve been asked to help produce the music and help with the choreography,” Dean mumbled fiddling with his fingers. 

 

“Dancing to macho for you Mr Winchester?” Castiel sneered.

 

Dean sighed and closed his eyes trying to calm his breathing. 

 

“Sir we asked Dean because he’s great at music, and he needs the mark,” Tom told his teacher.

 

“I see. You will have to perform your dance in our theatre to an audience, produce it, dance it, budget for it, raise money for it.”

 

Castiel handed out sheets of paper to the class and went on with his lecture. Castiel glanced at his watch; it would soon be time for the end of the lesson.

 

“Mr Winchester, can I see you before you leave?”

 

The rest of the class left, and Dean stood near the door.

 

“You need to put extra work in Mr Winchester, if I don’t see you pull your weight, I will fail you.”

 

“Why would I not pull my weight? Is this because I won’t dance?” Dean scowled. 

 

“I think you have an attitude issue; I have no clue why they let you in here, but one wrong word and I will make your life hell,” Castiel growled at the boy.

 

“Don’t worry, you’re already starting to.” Dean turned and walked off.

 

_ ‘Shit, why did that kid get under his skin and he’d only met him twice.’ _ Sighed Castiel getting ready for his next lesson.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  
  


“Dean, what ya doing honey?” Asked Ellen watching the young cook sit in her bar before they opened.

 

“Knitting scarves for the homeless shelter, if I start now, I will have plenty for when it gets cold.”

 

“If I can help let me know?”

 

“Well, any leftover food we don’t use. Can they come to pick it up?”

 

“You can sort that out okay?” Ellen raised her eyebrow.

 

“Sure.” Dean nodded.

 

Ellen smiled at the young boy she had come to love, he was damaged oh for sure, but was kind, sweet and needed looking after so she would fill that role.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean was walking through the small woods near Lake Gibson. After the class this morning and the shift at the Roadhouse he needed a break. The lake was man-made, but there was a sandy beach, and nature trails, people walked, rode their bikes and families had picnics. Dean loved it here watching nature, watching the world go by. Sitting down on a bench, he saw a young girl crying, so he went over to her.

 

“Hey, do you need any help?” Dean asked her kindly.

 

“Not sure anyone can help.” The girls held her head in his her hands. 

 

“What’s your name?” Dean tried again.

 

“Krissy.” The girl sniffed.

 

“Would you like to walk with me? I don’t have many friends, I get lonely.”

 

“Don’t you have a family?” The girl quizzed getting up off the bench. 

 

They started to walk, and Dean looked over at the horizon.

 

“My mom died, but dad is abusive and Sam well my brothers younger.”

 

“Not supportive?” Krissy asked the boy next to her.

 

“No, they have no clue I came out here to school.”

 

“I-I like girls and I’m scared about telling my mom. My dad died, but I have a step-dad, and I’m not nice to him.”

 

“Why is he not nice to you?” Enquired Dean watching the girl from the corner of his eye.

 

“Harry’s the best, can’t think why I’m such a bitch, dad was a dick so…”

 

“Talk to Harry tell him how you feel, then talk to your mom. If they love you, they will understand. Krissy have they abused you in any way? Are you in trouble?” Dean wanted to get to the bottom of this girl’s distress. 

 

“No, not at all.” Krissy shook her head.

 

Dean turned around and smiled. Then go home, talk and be who you want to be. Your Krissy and if anyone tells you otherwise tell them to piss off. You may lose people, but they can’t be great, can they? Your family will stick with you, if not find your own way.”

 

“What’s your name?” The young girl asked.

 

“Dean Winchester, now go home and be happy.”

 

The girl hugged Dean. “Thanks.” She rushed away not giving the younger man a second glance.


	4. Stopping Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to Jody about being Dyslexic and Castiel does not take kindly to him being late to class.

 

Dean dreaded Castiel’s classes. The professor would ignore him or make harsh comments, even the class caught on to it. 

 

“Why’s Professor Novak always riding your ass Dean?” Remarked Asher one day in the music studio.

 

“No clue, don’t think he likes me.” Dean shrugged.

 

“Well if it gets worse, you need to report it, he’s plain mean.” Commented June, with a look of distaste on her face.

 

“I agree, no one should treat you like that Dean, you have done all the work, and raised the money for the show,” Asher commented.

 

“I will go to Donna if it gets worse guys don’t worry.” The younger man said glad he had friends that cared for him.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean was called in by Jody, he’d been having issues with some of his written work, and she needed to talk to him.

 

“Come in Dean don’t be so scared.”

 

Jody was head of the department. Donna, her wife, was Dean’s mentor, and they got on well. They would both indulge over an episode of doctor sexy and a powdered doughnut.

 

“Dean I’ve been going over your work, and I want you to take a test for dyslexia and scotopic sensitivity syndrome.”

 

“Huh, but I can read, my English and math scores are high.”

 

“You can read and do math if your dyslexic Dean," Chuckled Jody. “Someone told me once that having the condition was like a snowflake every individual was different.”

 

“Why was it missed at school?”

 

“It sometimes the lack of money, lack of knowledge, but we can put it right. We can help with a new laptop that has computer software, a person to take your notes. At the moment you will be deducted the full ten per cent for spelling and grammar errors. In exams, you can do it on your computer or have someone to write. First, we need the tests, and then we can see what help you need."

 

“Sure, I can do that. Let me know.”

 

“This is your appointment for Susan, she will test you for both conditions, you will have to miss your dance class, but I'll send an email to your professor.”

 

Dean thanked Jody and went along to Charlie's room to see if she was in.

 

“Hey Dean, I thought you were in class?”

 

“No, it's been cancelled, and Jody needed to see me, they're testing me for dyslexia and some syndrome.”

 

“Oh, right, you had no idea dude?”

 

“I guess my spelling and grammar is crap.”

 

“What we need is ice cream, popcorn and Halo.”

 

“Sounds good to me my queen.” Dean grinned at her. 

 

“You’re coming to the LARPing weekend? Dot as her costume and so does Kevin.” Charlie bounced up and down with excitement, and it was catching.

 

“Yes, your loyal handmaiden at your service.” Dean bowed low.

 

Charlie let out a high pitch squeal, “We’re going to have the best time bitches.”

 

Dean grabbed the redhead and spun her around. “Yep we are, and I can't wait. You need to ask Dot out, go for it.”

 

“You can watch the queen at work, see how to woo a woman.”

 

Dean blushed and glanced down, “Erm not sure, I want to.”

 

“Oh, I see, well it works on dudes too, you will get nothing but support here.”

 

“Thanks, red.” Dean rubbed his eyes, feeling his emotions bubble to the surface. 

 

“Now let me beat your ass at Halo.”

 

Dean snorted. “You wish.”

 

“Oh, baby, it's so on.”

 

Dean had friends’ people that wanted to spend time with him, and he let the feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. It was the best feeling in the world, like his mom's apple pie, warm and full of comfort.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


“Your late Mr Winchester, next time your tardy don’t bother coming to class, you already missed last Monday.”

 

“Sir I was being tested you should have got an email,” Dean told the teacher seemingly confused.

 

“What’s today's excuse?” Castiel glared at the indignant boy in front of him and God he was beautiful.

 

“I had to get my glasses done, for reading, it's better than an overlay.”

 

“Sir, this should not have been brought up in front of the class, it's not right.” Asher stood up with her hands on her hips.

 

The rest of the class began to mumble their agreement. Castiel turned around ignoring them.

 

“Don’t be late again.” Castiel shot back.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxX

  
  


“Cassie, what the hell have you been doing?” Gabriel stood near the door to the studio while his little brother danced. He was shorter than his brother, had light blonde hair and golden whiskey eyes.

 

“What do you mean?” Sighed Castiel trying to practice.

 

“You know what I mean. The kids are talking, and if it's getting back to me, then be sure it's getting back to Jody or God forbid Mikey.”

 

“Its nothing, I made a slight error it won’t happen again.” Castiel huffs. 

 

“Look Michael maybe the king of the kingdom, brother or no brother he will kick your ass to the kerb if you step out of line and do something to a kid.”

 

“Do something, like what? Dean Winchester is a brat he won’t dance, he’s a talentless, homophobic, idiot who should not be at this school.” Castiel fumed.

 

Gabriel moved forward and stopped Castiel from dancing. “Dean’s got more talent than I have seen in many years, that boy hides the pain, he’s kind, clever and sweet. Dean will help anyone out. I have never heard anyone, but you speak a bad word about him. Tone it down, before someone puts a complaint in about you Cassie.”

 

“Fine, I can do that,” Castiel growls, getting a towel and wiping the sweat off his face.

 

“If it bothers you so much why don’t you ask him?”

 

“Ask him what?”

 

“Why he never dances.” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

 

“I truly don’t give a shit what that boy does.”

 

“Sure Cassie, keep telling yourself that. See you around little brother.”

 

“Yeah sure.” Castiel grabs a bottle of water and drinks it down. Taking a good look at himself in the mirror and thinks of green eyes, trying to forget the pain he keeps putting in them.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


“Well Dean, you're all set up, your new scribe is Molly, and she will join you for Professor Novak’s class. He’s doing written work tomorrow so this will be a great introduction. 

 

“Thanks, Jody, for all the help.”

 

“No worries, go to Donna if you need anything more, and the S-ed department will always help you.”

 

Dean walks back to his dorm and sees Kevin and his mom in the parking lot.

 

“Hey, guys what you both up to?”

 

“Hello Dean, how're your classes going?”

 

“There great Mrs Tran, well most of them.”

 

“Dean’s having issues with Castiel mom, he’s not always nice.”

 

“Castiel, you surprise me, what’s he doing?”

 

“I-I don’t want him to get into trouble, he’s a little harder on me I guess.”

 

“Dude, did you want to come out with us?”

 

“No, I have a shift but if you can drop me off that would be great?”

 

“Sure, we can do that.”

 

Kevin sits with Dean as he cleans the tabletops.

 

“So has Dean said anything about Professor Novak?” Linda asks Ellen.

 

“No, but he gets a little mopey after some classes.”

 

“I think I need to keep an eye on that, talk to Michael.”

 

“If I hear anything, I'll let you know, that poor boy does not need any more weight on those shoulders.”

 

“That’s the truth.” They both nodded peering over at Dean.

 

The two-women stood talking, making right with the world.


	5. Standing-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to ahead and Dean tells Castiel some of his past. John finds Dean and hurts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence. Talk of pass child abuse.

Dean met Molly his scribe. Going into his classroom, they were a little late, and he was slightly nervous.

 

“It will be fine Dean, this happens all the time, the professor will know about it.”

 

Dean nodded and bit his lip, walking into the classroom, sharp blue eyes zoned in on him.

 

“What did I say about being late Mr Winchester?” Castiel clicked his tongue in irritation. 

 

“Sorry professor I had to meet my scribe,” Dean mumbled rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

“I don’t know anything about this?” The blue-eyed man voiced glancing around.

 

Molly narrowed her eyes and folded her arms. “Excuse me you will not turn us away, Dean has every right to get help, and if you bother to read your emails, you would have known I was coming and going to be slightly late.”

 

Dean seemed shocked this was getting out of hand. He knew the man hated people coming to class late, why had Molly even said that?

 

Asher and June stood up and came and stood near to Dean.

 

“This is fucking wrong how you keep treating Dean, he’s never done anything to you. Now you’re stopping him getting help. Come on Dean lets go see Jody.”

 

The rest of the class stood up, and Molly smiled vindictively at the teacher. “Come on love let's follow your class.”

 

The rest of the class filed out, and Dean told them to go. That he would follow shortly he needed to ask Castiel a question first. The older man was stood there his head against the whiteboard. Still, his heavy breathing could be heard, the only noise in the now quiet room.

 

Dean stood there. Suddenly he felt the magma of anger reach explosion levels and let all the months of frustration go. The times this handsome man had not been kind to him, and he needed answers.

 

“Why do you hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?” Dean wanted it to come out angrily, but it came out sad and lost.

 

Castiel swung around and stared Dean in the eye, that boy, his eyes that tormented his dreams. He had heard his name all over campus how kind and sweet he was. Even at the shelter, Dean’s name had been whispered like a benediction. One of the boys that day had come back to say he was sorry, that the boy that was stood watching him dance had nothing to do with them, he had not said a word. Then why was he so harsh on Dean? Why so nasty? So, mean. Castiel was becoming his dad, and it scared him.

  
  


“Why do you not dance? You look at me like I’m wrong? I have trained for years to be here, and yet little boys like you have no idea how hard it is, to fight for something you love. You think you have everyone wrapped around your little finger, but I see the real you, homophobic, bigoted, macho images, closeted, idiot. You should not be here, should not have this chance.”

 

Every word the man said hit Dean, like his dads’ fist. How one man could break him down, hate him so much yet knew nothing about him.

 

“I’m gay if my dad found out he would kill me, and that’s not a euphemism. You don’t know me, professor, I have no idea why you have taken such a dislike to me, but when you dance, it's like you make me feel freedom like you give me wings, and I wish I could fly with you. I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life, you dance to your own rhythm, and I wish I dared to do that, but it's far too late for me.” 

 

Dean scrubbed at the tears falling fast from his eyes, he could not see but needed to get this out.

 

“My mom was the one who taught me to love dancing, she died, but I know she would be proud of me. Dad, when I was six, he caught me dancing. Mom was out he hurt me and taught me what sissy’s do, they dance, they fuck boys. So, you see professor I can’t dance because my wings were broken years ago.”

 

Dean runs, in no particular direction, runs because he’s scared runs because he’s never told anyone that. Runs because his heart may beat out his chest. Runs until he feels sick. 

 

Castiel sees the boy run, and slips down the wall, he cries, for that boy lost childhood, and cries, because he’s let Dean down, cries for all the injustice in the world. Castiels knows he will lose his job over this, and deserves to.

 

“Oh, Cassie what did you do?” Gabriel sits with him, and he sobs into his brothers’ arms.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Jody sits there and sighs and picks up the phone, she does not want to do this, but she can’t ignore the issue any more.

 

“Michael, we have a problem, its Castiel, yes I’ll be right over.”

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Castiel sits in his office leaning his head on his arms. Waiting for his older brother to come down from his throne and tell him to clear his desk. A knock on the door and his heart sank, but he sits up and tries to be brave about this. He did this and will have to face the fallout.

 

“Hello Castiel, may I come in?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“We need to talk little brother.”

 

Michael much like their father in looks, but not in temperament. If it were not for his big brother, he would not be sitting here now, and this is how he repays him.

 

“I let you down, I’m so sorry.” Castiel can’t stop the tears they keep flowing.

 

“You have never let me down Castiel, and I doubt you ever will. What happened?”

 

So Castiel tells him everything, about the abuse and the way he treated Dean. 

 

“When he told me about what his dad did?” Castiel shook his head and sobbed.

 

“Linda said he came here with one box, and an ancient laptop, no family. Dean had a split lip and a large bruise on his face.”

 

“That’s shit, the poor kid.”

 

“You like him brother, more then you should I think.”

 

“I can see the spark in him, the light he shines so bright Mikey, Deans beautiful. I want to teach him to dance, he says it’s too late, but I know I can if you give me that chance.”

 

“Then you better ask him. I can’t do much if he wants to make things official, it will go on your record, but we can deal with that. After the show, we can change him to another class. If that’s what Dean wants.”

 

“I have a lot of people to say sorry to, I have never felt this inside me before. Dean never did anything wrong and when I did find out…”

 

“They’re worried about him, Deans not returned to his dorm, we will keep an eye on it but, with hope, he will come back.”

 

“If anything happens to him this is on me.”

 

“Why don’t you see if you can find him, we have others out searching. Go back to the studio; he may come back to us. Gabriel said Dean often sneaks in to watch even though you banned him.” Michael smiled and got up off the desk. We will talk more about this Castiel. I have a meeting, any news let me know.”

 

“Yes of course.” Nodded Castiel.

 

Castiel did something he’d not done since he was a small boy, he grabbed his brother and hugged him.

 

“It will be okay, Castiel I promise, now go find that boy.”

 

Castiel grabbed his keys and wallet and dashed out of the door. He had a freshman to find.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Castiel danced his heart out, hoping the music would entice Dean to the studio, Gabriel was sat watching at the back, in case he missed the boy.

 

“Take five Cassie, have some water.” Gabriel throws a bottle of water at his brother, and he caught it one-handed. “I need a pee back in a moment.”

 

Castiel gulps the cold water down and wipes the sweat that had accumulated on his brow, with the towel that was slung around his shoulders. Switching his music off he hears a shout from outside, thinking it was some drunk co-ed he ignores it. Then he hears a plea and a cry, the voice sounds familiar. Castiel goes to peer out of the window and sees Dean facing a large man, and that man was lashing into the boy.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean was dizzy, walking around campus, tired, and hungry. Not going back to see Jody or his class to complain about Castiel. Dean did not want to go back to his dorm and face all the questions he knew he would be bombarded with. The night was unusually cold and shivered in his thin track pants and top.

 

Dean limped towards the studio he saw the lights on and knew Castiel would be in there. Wanting to avoid him at all costs, but the man drew him like a moth to a flame. How could you hate and like someone at the same time? It was so confusing.

 

“So, this is where you been hiding son.”

 

In front of him was none other than one John Winchester. Shocked and a little scared Dean stopped the lights glowed from the studio, but it was a Monday, so the gym was not open this late at night. Dean knew that Castiel always got lost in his music and it was on loud so even if he called for help, no one would hear.

 

“H-how did you find me?” Dean shook now not from the cold but from fear. 

 

“Letter sent to the house, I’m here to bring you home, now get in the car.”

 

“No, this is my home.” Dean stood slightly straighter than before and crossed his arms.

 

“Sam needs someone to look after him and cook meals.” Grunted his father. “And we need more money coming in.”

 

“Well if you did not spend it all on booze you would have money. You can cook and care for  Sam, that’s what your job is dad, not mine.” Dean shouted at the top of his voice.

 

John growled and hit Dean, knocking to the dusty floor.

 

“You won’t talk like that to me, you will come home and do as you’re told, not doing some sissy dancing you no good fag. Don’t think anyone will come to your aid here son, there all a bunch of weak ass cowards.”

 

“I’ll give you fucking weak ass coward, you dare hit your son like that. You have no right, leave him the fuck alone.” Growled Castiel as he ran over his eyes flashing his hair wild.

 

“What are you going to do fairy boy, I’m so scared.” John hit out, but Castiel caught his fist in his hand and held it.

 

“I’ve been training every day since I was six Mr Winchester, I have muscles in places you can’t fathom. Only a coward abuses a little kid and beats him down. You ever come near Dean again, and I will make sure I’m the last thing you see.”

 

Dean glances up, blood spilling into his eye shaking, never seeing his dad, go white before. Castiel held John in an arm lock and throw him down onto the floor. Gabriel came rushing out of the studio to see what was going on.

 

“Get security and an ambulance I want this dick put away.” Growled out the teacher.

 

“Sure Cassie, don’t worry.” Gabriel shoots back inside again and comes running out minutes later talking on his phone.

 

Security picked John up and took him from the professor while they waited for the police and the ambulance. 

 

“Are you okay Cassie?”

 

“I’m fine, don't worry.”

 

Dean whimpered, and Castiel went straight towards him slowly, getting on the ground inches apart.

 

“Dean, can I touch you?” Castiel asked the young boy not wanting to spook him.

 

Dean nodded sobbing and shaking.

 

“I need your words, sweetie,” Castiel asked kindly.

 

“Yes, Cas please, I need you.”

 

Castiel gathered him up in his arms and rocked him. 

 

“Shh sweet boy, I won’t let anyone hurt you, even if that’s me. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Dean held on to the man like he was his anchor and was going to sink and drown. He started to feel sleepy and his body heavy.

 

“Dean baby you have to keep awake, come on. Gabe where is that ambulance, I think that dick hurt him more than we realised.”

 

“It's here Cassie, don’t worry he’ll be okay.” Gabriel grabbed Castiel's clothes, wallet and phone so he could change at the hospital. “Here take this with you and call me, I need to call Mikey to let him know what’s going on.”

 

Castiel got in the ambulance with Dean, praying that he would be okay.


	6. Small flight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean talk and Dean meet's a lady in the hospital garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk about child and domestic abuse.

"I'm not pressing charges Cas; I think that's what dad wants in away. I would still have to go back home and look after Sammy, and he would be out in a year or two."

 

"I see, yes, but you can get a restraining order, Dean."

 

"Yes, Dean Novak is helping me with that. I can't believe I missed the show; guess you were right after all I failed your class."

 

"No, you won't be failing, you put too much work into it."

 

"The class have been to see me, Kevin and Linda, Ellen and Jo. I've been helping her with homework."

 

"Did they say when you can come home?"

 

"Yes Friday, they want me to walk around and get some fresh air, eat and sleep more. They have got me a therapist. Pam's nice, and sassy I like her."

 

"We have a meeting when you get back, about my behaviour and where you want to go from here. I fully expect you to put a formal complaint. I was hurtful and- God Dean, I was abusive towards you."

 

"Cas, a lot happened since then."

 

"I love to dance, my mom, much like yours passed away, but she installed that love in my heart. I danced, she sent me to classes, and I started when I was three and carried on."

 

"Your Dad was not bothered?" Dean questioned the older man.

 

"Dad was away working all the time, took little interest in what we did out of school. Michael was the eldest; he was smart wanted to be a teacher. Then Gabriel came next who loved history and music. Then I the baby of the family who loved dance. Mom died of cancer when I was eight, Gabe twelve and Michael was sixteen. Dad realised that I was doing ballet, tap, modern, both myself and Gabe were in a band at school. We sang in a glee club. Dad went mental told us we should be like Michael and then he started beating on us.

 

"Cas, that's shit."

 

Castiel barked hollowly. "I think sweet boy you had it rather worse than me." The older man realised what he had said and glanced down at his shoes in shame.

 

"I don't mind Cas I like it. Tell me what happened."

 

Castiel placed his hand on the bed, and stared into green eyes, those eyes that seemed so sad, but gave so much light it always took his breath away. Dean slid his hand in the older man's and slotted their fingers together.

 

"I became depressed and started cutting myself. It'd been going on for about two years at this point. One day dad thought Michael was out he grabbed me, and my big brother found me and kicked his ass. He's in prison still, not sure he will ever get out, he killed someone in there, so that got tagged on to his sentence. Anyway, I'm glad he's not getting out, ever."

 

"Do you think it's wrong that I don't go home and look after Sam?" Dean bit his lip and hissed at the slightly unhealed skin.

 

"Don't do that; don't hurt yourself. Dean. Sam's being taken care of; if he's in danger you would have gone back right?"

 

"Yeah, dad won't harm him."

 

"Then, he will be okay. Dean if you go back there, you won't be safe, your life will be hell until that man kills you. Not now Dean, not next month but he will, I know the type of man."

 

"I want to be near my friends, the people who care about me, that like me for who I am. I can be myself here, and I have never been able to be myself," Dean sighed.

 

"I want you to stay; you should know that."

 

"Thanks, Cas."

 

  
XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 

  
Dean strolled into the hospital grounds; he sat down on a stone bench that overlooked a flower garden. It reminded him of his mom's garden, the smell of roses lifted memories to the front of his mind, his mom, smiling planting her flowers, the garden was her happy place.

 

The younger man felt tears well up he missed his mom so much, he could do with calling her, talking to her right about now.

 

"Are you okay?" Dean observed a woman with a bruised face and broken arm standing near him.

 

"I could ask you the same thing."

 

"Harry, my partner, not sure what to do, I have Ben and-" The woman stopped, blushing red.

 

"My dad mentally abused my mom, said she wished he had hit her; then people would see the marks, no one can see the mental scars words leave."

 

"I guess she's right. My names Lisa by the way."

 

"My names, Dean. Mom died of cancer she wanted me to dance, but was too scared of Dad, he found me, and I ended up here. I dare to stay when I had so little, because of the amazing people I met along the way. Sometimes we may think our wings are clipped, but we can still fly if we try. Lisa mom could never get help, but you can if you want to."

 

"My son could end up like you…"

 

Dean huffed. "Broken you mean."

 

"No brave and full of courage. I have to go but thank you for the first piece of kindness I have received in a long time."

 

"Anyone would have done the same."

 

"No, they really wouldn't." The young woman with brown hair, tied in a messy ponytail, walked away from Dean, and he hoped he had helped in some way.


	7. Gentle breeze.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes back for the second meeting. Castiel tells Dean he will teach him to dance.

Dean went home to the dorm, Ellen and Linda fussed over him of course, although moaning he secretly thrived on it. Kevin and Charlie made sure no one bothered him in his room and kept things quiet. He did not have a class’s yet, needing to see Dean Novak before he went back. On the Sunday before the meeting there was a knock on the dorm door, Charlie, Dot and Kevin were playing a game of Uno, keeping things as normal as they could.

 

"It's Asher and June." Said Kevin at the door wondering if he should let them in.

 

"It's fine Kev let them in."

 

"We heard you were back, and Professor Novak got suspended," Asher said with stilted sympathy in her voice.

 

"No, Cas wanted to stay away from class until the meeting tomorrow."

 

"Cas?" asked June with raised eyebrows.

 

"Guys, do you trust me?" Dean asked the two girls.

 

"Yes, Dean your one of the most genuine people we know." 

 

"Cas, and me we have been through a hellish childhood. I can't tell you anything about him because that's his story. Mine well dad found me, and that's why I ended up in the hospital. It was Cas who saved me. He was hard on me because he's an idiot. The guy cares for me, won't hurt me again."

 

"If he does, I'll wipe him from existence." Muttered Charlie out loud.

 

"We get it okay, was so harsh on you though," June grumbled.

 

"I know, and Cas needs to make amends for that, but he will do I promise you."

 

"What will you do?"

 

"Not sure until the meeting. I don't want him to lose his job over this; that's for sure."

 

"Let us know, we're glad you're okay." Asher and June hugged Dean and left the room wishing him luck for the upcoming meeting.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean glances at his watch. Knowing he had time before the meeting to pop to the S-ed room. Looking around he sees Molly sat near the coffee lounge and walks over to her. The older woman smiles when she sees Dean.

 

"Can I talk to you?"

 

"Sure, honey what do you need?" The older woman smiles on with motherly concern.

 

"It's about Ca- professor Novak, I don't want him to lose his job. If it weren't for him, not sure, I would be here now."

 

"Castiel came to see me, saying he was sorry. I have known that man since he came to work here. I used to teach before I retired. Helping this department keeps me busy, keeps the brain active. He's a good man, a little misguided maybe, I have no idea what's got into him."

 

"I think I know, and yes, he's a good man."

 

"I hope you can sort this out. Don't worry Dean it will work itself out in the end."

 

"Thanks, Molly." 

 

Dean walked away his feet feeling heavy the closer he got to Dean Novak's office.

 

**Text to MyQueen:** Any news?

 

**Text to Dean:** She never sent it, no one in that dept did hth?

 

**Text to MyQueen:** Yeah thanks. C u soon.

 

Dean knocked on the Dean's door to his shock, and surprise Linda Tran opened it. 

 

"Come in Dean and take a seat Dean Novak will see you soon."

 

"I have no idea you worked here Linda." Said Dean.

 

"Why do you think I'm always around campus? Silly boy."

 

"Oh, never thought about that."

 

Dean looked around the room, it had a plush navy carpet and off-white walls. There were tasteful pictures dotted around. A pine cabinet stood in one corner with shelves of gold and silver trophies. A large oak desk stood majestically near the centre of the room, the office was tidy, with pen holders and trays.

 

There was a large leather chair on the other side of the desk, near Dean there sat an empty one. The younger man wiped his sweaty hands on his dress trousers, he had thought to dress nicely to meet the Dean of the school. 

 

A knock on the door made him jump and a man with dark hair and watery blue eyes came in. He had a navy-blue suit on and a light blue tie.

 

"I thought I better warn you I was coming in. I'm Dean Novak, but please call me Michael."

 

Dean stood up and shook the man's hand.

 

"Please sit,"

 

Dean smiled and nodded, he was going to be okay, calming his breathing down and squashing his anxiety. 

 

"Now, you know Castiel is my brother, but today I have to put that aside. You're my concern, he's an employee of this fine establishment."

 

"Okay sir, I understand." Dean's voice shook slightly.

 

"I know you have been through something in your past. I hope you're getting help and support now? We can help you through this Dean, we are a family here, and your teachers are here to help you. I have heard great things about you, and we're very proud to have you here."

 

Dean blushed red, not sure what to say about the massive compliment.

 

"Now, this issue with professor Novak, we have had complaints from staff members and your classmates. I need your side of this, I've heard from Castiel."

 

"I don't want him to lose his job sir, Cas, he's helped me, more than made up for anything he said or did. I know he's been a dick but, I get why, and we’ve talked about it. I think we all deserve a second chance in life, this will be his, I won't, however, give him another if he fucks up again."

 

"I see, there are behaviours we can overlook but this treatment of your disability…"

 

"What treatment? I turned up late, Cas hates that. The idiot never checked his email to say Molly was coming late. Cas never said anything derogatory to me." Dean frowned not liking where this was going.

 

"I see, thank you for clearing that up for me Dean.

 

"Sir, my friend searched, and no one from the S-ed department sent Cas an email, the way Molly started the fight, it was like…" Dean could not find the words knowing he was not wrong about his suspicions. 

 

"Like, she was trying to initiate something?"

 

"Yes, exactly. Cas, won't lose his job, will he?"

 

"I can't tell you that, but it's looking a hell of a lot better than it did this morning."

 

Dean was glad he had that evidence, knew the college would not ignore any form of discrimination and would have come down hard on Castiel, may not have lost his job, but his reputation would have been in tatters and would have been forced out anyway.

 

"Dean I will take what you said and talk with my advisory panel, and we will call you when we have made a decision. I ask you not to contact Castiel, he won't be on campus until this enquiries finished. Oh, and could you send Miss Bradbury to see me I think I would like to see the evidence she found."

 

Dean's eyes went wide, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

 

Michael put his hand up. "Not to worry, she's not in trouble, we need some help, and I think she will provide it."

 

Dean stood up and shook the man's hand again and went out. Hoping that everything would be okay.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean was called back two weeks later he thought it would have been longer, a lot had been going on. Molly had upped and left, and so he had a new scribe. Gabriel was taking Castiel's classes. Dean was helping for extra credit as he’d missed classes when in hospital. Dean got along great with the older man, and they would often go out for lunch.

 

Dean sat there in that office again waiting, he had missed Cas, wanted to get to know the man better. Charlie could not say what she and the Dean were talking about, but he was not one to push anyway. Michael came into the room, but unlike last time there was a familiar person with him.

 

"Hello Dean, you seem much better than the last time I saw you."

 

"Yeah, I-I 'cough' feel better thanks."

 

"Good I'm glad."

 

"Well, I am pleased to say that Castiel won't be leaving us, we have found some deeper issues that have been brought to light."

 

"Molly?" Dean guessed out loud. 

 

"Yes, she was a teacher here and did not take kindly to my brothers taking over the campus," Castiel explained. 

 

"So, though she could get Cas suspended, and it would put you and Gabe in a bad light."

 

"More or less." Michael nodded, sadly. 

 

"People get bitter when they can't have what others have Dean," Castiel said kindly.

 

"I get that, but why can't people be kind, this could have lost you more than your job."

 

"I had you on my side, she did not account for that. 

 

"Do you know who sent that letter back home?" Dean's green eyes bored into Michael.

 

"No, but we will search for them, your friend is on the case. We know it was not a simple error."

 

"Dean to make up for my utter appalling lack of judgment, and abhorrent behaviour I want to teach you to dance."

 

"What! I'm too old," Dean stuttered sadly.

 

"Your eighteen Dean, it's never too old to start. Some people begin to dance in their sixties.

 

"I could do this? My mom always said I should dance to my own rhythm."

 

"Yes, Mondays after class come to the studio and we will start, it will be hard work, but if you put the time and energy in, it will pay off."

 

"You don't mind doing that for me?" Dean stated incredulously.

 

"After what I put you through it's the least I could do," Castiel stated sadly.

 

"I accept then, thank you, professor, I can't wait for Monday. Will that is all Dean Novak?"

 

"Yes Dean, if you have any other issues, let Donna or Jody know."

 

"I will thank you." The younger man turned around and walked out. Sagging against Linda's desk.

 

"You okay Dean?"

 

"No, but I will be."

 

"We're having dinner at my house, let Kevin know."

 

"Thanks, I need to be taken away from all this, for a night."

 

Linda nodded in understanding. "You're a survivor Dean, we’re all by your side."

 

Dean nodded, and walked away, going in the direction of the lake, he needed to be alone in his own thoughts for a little while.

 


	8. Running, jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds his feet.

Monday found Dean in his first dance class after coming out of the hospital. It was now the height of summer and the holidays were barrelling towards them faster than a bullet train. The class were making basic dance moves, showing off their skills. Dean had been told he did not have to attend, but still wanted to, it was his group after all.

 

"Hey, Dean did not think you would come." Voiced June limbering up, her leg high on the barre bar.

 

"Well might as well, nothing better to do." Shrugged Dean.

 

"You like spending time with a certain blue-eyed professor." Winked Asher.

 

"What, no." Spluttered Dean blushing bright red.

 

Castiel that minute walked in and noticed Dean's face and seemed concerned.

 

"Are you okay Dean, you looked flushed?"

 

"I'm fine sir." Muttered Dean, the younger man did not miss how that one word affected the man.

 

Asher and June giggled behind him. "Shut up guys."

 

They both made a zip motion with their hands and grinned like the Cheshire cat.

 

How did they even know, they were pissed at the man only weeks before.

 

“Class can I have your attention, please. I've had a word with some of you." The man stared pointedly at Asher and June, and Dean rolled his eyes well that answered that question.

 

"I have spoken with Dean of course, but I want to offer a public apology to him. I- words, are painful, they can be used to comfort and used to destroy someone. I jumped to a wrong conclusion about Dean and boy was I wrong. I went around campus and asked people about him, and got slightly confused, the more I heard, the more he sounded sweet, kind and caring. Dean got so mad at me told me personal life-altering stories, that made me realise what a complete ass, I was being. Dean, you have been through hell, and yet you stand here. You pull people up when you, your self should be laying down broken. I-I God so, sorry. To you and my class, I let you all down, and I will understand if you all walk out and not want to be here with me anymore."

 

The older man hid his face, his shaking sobs, filled the room. Dean walked forward and put his arms around the professor. Asher and June did the same soon he had twenty students forming a puppy pile on the floor of the studio.

 

"Guys I can't breathe." Laughed Castiel full of heartfelt gratitude for all his students. "You guys have lessons after this?" He enquired.

 

"No sir,” they all echoed.

 

"Good, we’re all over eighteen so we’re going on a trip. Grab your bags."

 

The cheer that went up could be heard around most of the campus, so the story went when it was told. Castiel marched out with twenty students, like a mother duck guiding her young.

 

"Cassie ware you taking your fledgelings?" Joked Gabriel out of the upper floor window. Wondering what the commotion from his mostly quiet younger brothers dance studio was all about.

 

"Field trip Gabe you coming?" The blonde-haired teacher must have spoken to the kids inside because he heard shouts and then a resounding yes, from his older brother. Minutes later they were joined by Gabriel's kids marching across campus.

 

"Where we going, Cassie?" Gabriel asked his younger brother glad he could get out of the hot, stuffy classroom.

 

"We're going to see Anna." Castiel chuckled and winked at his brother.

 

"Oh, this will get them in your good books. Anna, know you're coming?"

 

"Yes, she's got the stage doors open for us."

 

There was a loud chatter all the way near the edge of the campus, where there was a theatre. Anna was a friend of Gabriel and Castiel's, she was prominent in theatreland and was doing Les Miserable at present. 

 

"No way we're going here," Asher said to Dean.

 

"This is amazing Dean." Squealed Tom, jumping up and down.

 

"Dean we have a lot to thank you for." Giggled June.

 

Dean shook his head, but was giddy inside and could not wait to get on the stage himself.

 

"Right you lot, this is our friend Anna, you will no doubt know of her. I know you will show the utmost respect in here, it's a working theatre, and they have a show tonight, but the cast will show you around and let you go on stage. So, go have fun." Boomed Castiel's gruff voice.

 

They all milled about on stage. Some sang, some danced, some were lost in costume and makeup. Dean stood in the centre of the stage and peered out into the vast empty seats and wondered what it would be like if they were full, watching him.

 

"Hi you're Dean, right?" Came a soft voice next to him.

 

"Oh, hey Anna yes."

 

"Why don't you sing, try it."

 

"You're sure?"

 

"Have they ever heard you sing?” Anna had a mischievous glint in her eye as she said it.

 

"No, they have no clue, how did you?"

 

"You can dance, play music Cas told me, but I have this feeling you can. Why don't you knock their socks off go on; it's your time to shine."

 

"I-I don't know what to sing." Dean frowned deep in thought.

 

"You know any of the songs of the show?"

 

"Yes, all of them," Dean blushed still embarrassed it was still ingrained in him that it was wrong to like such things.

 

"What about  _ 'On my own.' _ That's a nice one."

 

"Okay, I can do that." Anna smiled kindly. "Then show them, go on have faith in yourself Dean."

 

When Dean started to sing there was chatter all around him, halfway through, people fell silent, people were in awe of his voice, it was so pure and natural. The cast came out and smiled at the young boy, singing his soul on stage. Castiel stood there in shock, tears prick the back of his eyes. When he'd finished it was quiet for a few seconds, and cheers and applause broke out, everyone telling him how well he’d done. 

 

"You're amazing even better than I thought you would be. When you finish school, let me know, and you have a job, in my company, but get singing lessons, your breathing needs sorting but otherwise your perfect."

 

"What! Do you mean that? Holy shit, Anna." Dean could not believe his ears.

 

"Dean, I mean what I say, you're a star. Oh, and Cassie he's a good man, thank you for giving him another chance." 

 

Dean hugged the dainty woman with flame-red hair and knew he had made a friend for life. 

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxX

  
  


Dean walked back to the studio that night after eating with Dot, Charlie and Kevin. The lights were on, but no music was playing. He had brought some comfy dance clothes and ballet pumps in case he would need them but guessed he was nowhere near that stage yet.

 

"Dean glad you made it have you eaten and dehydrated?"

 

"Yes, sir, of course." Castiel turned around and shook his head. Dean smirked knowing what that word did to the man.

 

"I have a list of workouts and meal plans. Your body is a temple Dean, you need to look after it. We will be swimming, running and using the gym. That's before we start doing dancing. You need to build core muscles, or you could damage yourself."

 

"Okay sure." Dean shrugged going over the list.

 

"You have no early classes, so I expect you to meet me at six every morning for a run. You will also adhere to your food plan, and water intake."

 

"You going to be spying on me, sir?" Dean raised his eyebrow.

 

"If you won't take my orders serious, we can stop this now." Growled Castiel. Coming up to Dean and invading his personal space.

 

"Never said I was not serious what gave you that impression?"

 

"Fine, well we're done for tonight, so meet me for our first run tomorrow and don't be late."

 

"Will there be punishment if I am?" Snarked Dean having no idea where that came from. Waiting for the older man's response, he grabbed his bag off the floor. Dean turned to find Castiel with one brow raised in a dominant display his eyes dark a small smile played on his lips, his arms folded.

 

"You keep pushing sweet boy, and I'll show you." The older man said in a low, gruff voice that sent shivers down the younger man's spine.

 

Dean tried to swallow and backed towards the door his eyes not leaving Castiel once. "I'll see you in the morning, sir." He whispered, licking his dry lips.

 

Castiel followed the movements of the younger man's tongue. If Dean wanted to play with fire, he would let him, but he was the master and the kid a novice. "Yes, you will, oh and Dean, don't be late, I dislike tardiness."

 

Castiel had to laugh at the beautiful green-eyed boy scrambled out of the door like a deer caught in the headlights. The game was on it would seem, and Castiel was up for the challenge. He would teach the boy to dance of it was the last thing he did. Giving Dean wings, watching his boy fly high.


	9. Tripping over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas go for a run but their talk makes Dean think. Dean ends up having a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Panic Attack

Dean was up bright and early. Kevin was muttering in his sleep, grinning the younger man dashed out and waited for Cas near the studio as per instructions. Glancing at his watch, it was a couple of minutes past six.

  
  
"Your late professor." Tasked Dean shaking his head, trying not to burst with laughter at the grumpy cat vibe Cas was giving off. His black hair tousled, blurry-eyed and unshaven. 

  
  


"How can you be so, so vibrant at this time of the morning." Grunted the teacher who was doing warm-up stretches.

  
  


"It's the view, it's got me inspired," Dean walked around the older man and winked. Round one to me this morning he thought to himself. Dean heard the man mutter for some time beside him; then joined him by his side. A mile out they hit Lake Gibson and had a rest.

  
  


"So, we'll turn and go back, no point pushing it your first day."

  
  


"Sure, no worries." Dean often ran in the gym, the terrain was different on foot, but he could manage.

  
  


They started steady, but Castiel pushed him harder, Dean glanced at the man who seemed to have a half-smile on his face.

  
  


"Can't keep up Dean you out of shape?" Castiel laughed watching the boy try to keep up with him.

  
  


"No, I prefer slow and steady, more pleasure in that don't you think?" Dean realised what he’d implied. He'd not had sex with anyone; was a fool to think this amazing man next to him would want someone broken like him.

  
  


"Hey, you okay?" Castiel must have seen something change in his demeanour and appeared concerned. 

  
  


"I'm fine, tried I guess." Dean lied, his thoughts sifting through his mind a mile a minute. 

  
  


Dean was quiet after that; they got back to the studio a little after seven. He had to get ready for a class and have a shower change and get food.

  
  


Castiel did stretches and cleared his throat. "Let me take you for breakfast; it's the least I can do."

  
  


"I said I would meet up with my friends."

  
  
"Oh, okay we'll see you in class then." Castiel felt disappointed, wanted to spend more time with Dean, but did not want to push, so he let it go. 

  
  


Dean knew Castiel's class started at nine, so had ample time, for all tasks. But when arriving back at the dorm, he began to shake, falling with a thud on the floor and started to cry. All he could see was grey shadows; feeling dizzy; his thoughts were dripping with a darkness that seeped into his very bones. Dean never heard the door open and the sound of feet rushing closer.

  
  


"Dean you're hurting yourself." _'Shit'_ "Charlie I need help." Yelled Kevin down the corridor hoping their friend would hear them. Hearing the panicky call, Daisy opened her door and peered out into the well-lit hallway. 

  
  


Kevin sent a small prayer to the heavens. "Daisy go and get Charlie it's Dean." The wide-eyed girl nodded and hurried to the redhead's door.

  
  


Daisy rapidly banged on Charlie's door. Charlie opened the door wondering what was going on. "Daisy, what's the emergency?"

  
  


Daisy shook a little. "Kevin needs you said that something's wrong with Dean."

  
  


The two girls rushed to Kevin and Dean's room. Charlie pushed by and observed her friend deep in a panic attack his breathing getting worse by the minute.  

  
  


Charlies mind buzzed calculating what she needed to do. "Daisy get the nurse. Her office is the other side of campus, so I'm going to get Castiel it's quicker. He may know what triggered this. Stay with him Kevin, talk to him but don't touch, okay."

  
  


"Yeah, I can do that." Kevin shook in fear, but there was no way in this world he would leave his best friend.

  
  


Charlie and Daisy ran like hell hounds were after them, Daisy split off in one direction, and Charlie shot through the walkway that leads to the dance studios.

  
  


Meanwhile, Castiel had come to class and was wondering where Dean was; he was okay when he left this morning.

  
  


Castiel slipped over to Deans friends. "Asher, have you seen Dean?"

  
  


"No, Castiel, hope he's okay."

  
  


"Yeah, me too." The man got on with his lesson, but ten minutes later the door burst open and he saw a girl clearly out of breath walking towards him with propose.

  
  


"Are you Castiel, Dean's friend?" Charlie panted trying to get her words out. 

  
  


"Yes, why?" Frowned the older man.

  
  


"You need to come; he's having a major panic attract. One of our dorm mates is getting the nurse, but your closer."

  
  


"Class you're dismissed. I need to go; show me the way." They both ran off towards the freshmen dorms.

  
  


Castiel and Charlie arrived at the dorms and sprinted to the room. "Kevin, how's he doing?" 

  
  


"He's hurt himself. I can't get him to stop; where the fuck is that nurse." Kevin shouted panic in his voice; tears slipped down his cheeks. 

  
  


Castiel knew he needed to take charge. "Charlie go back down to reception and call #9 it will get you through to Jody Mills, tell her what's going on and that I'm with Dean."

  
  


"Sure. Kevin with me." Charlie pulled her friend with her knowing that Castiel may want time with Dean alone.

  
  


Castiel bent down next to his boy. "Dean baby can you hear me?" The younger man's breathing was shallow; his arm was bleeding where his fingers were digging into them.

  
  


"Shit, this is not good," Knowing he should not touch someone in Dean's condition, but he needed to turn the younger man on his side, to clear his airways, his breathing had become a top priority at this time.

  
  


"Come on sweetheart don't do this to me, please." Castiel stroked his long fingers through Dean's sweat-drenched hair. The older man heard running and saw the campus nurse and Jody come barrelling through the door.

  
  


"Sorry, we were at another incident, got here as fast as we could. Tell me what's going on."

  
  


"Deans breathing is erratic, it's a panic attack, and God he's bleeding."

  
  


"It's okay, he needs a muscle relaxer that should help, we should get an ambulance his body has run on auto fast, and he will come down and hit rock bottom. Does Dean see a therapist?"

  
  


"Yes, Pamela Barnes, over at the hospital."

  
  


"Okay, well let me sort this out, go call this in Castiel. I will call Pam. I know her well."

  
  


The nurse injected Dean, his body was not so rigid, and the nurse was talking to him, softly.

  
  


"Do you know what could have triggered this Castiel?" Jody asked the older man.

  
  


"Yes, I think so, but I would like to talk to Pam about that if that's okay."

  


"Sure, that's fine. I think it's a good job the summer is coming; he needs a break."

  


"Yeah, you could be right." Castiel nodded.

  
  


XxxxxXXX

  
  


Dean slowly opened his eyes, his body hurt, and his mouth was dry.

 

 

"Hey, sweet boy. Do you need a drink?"

 

 

"Yeah," Dean croaked. A strew slipped between his lips, and the cooling liquid coated his parched tongue, and he slipped gladly.  

 

 

Dean blinked and rubbed his eyes, turning his head, glancing at Castiel. "Hey, what happened?"

  
  


Castiel searched for Dean's hand and entwined their fingers. "Scared me that's what. You had a panic attack, but I think I know why,"

 

Dean groaned. "I’m a virgin Cas, what was I playing at?”

 

Castiel brushed Deans hair gently out of his emerald-green eyes. "I think our teasing got out of hand and went a little too far. Dean, you are perfect for me, never think otherwise. I'll make this promise; we won't do anything sexual until I've made your fly."

 

Dean blinked a tear rolled down his cheek. "You'll wait for me?" 

  


Castiel brushed the tear with the pad of his thumb and got up and kissed Dean on the forehead. "I will wait a lifetime for you sweetheart."

  
  


Cas, I wanna be your good boy, please,"

 

"I will teach you everything I know; that's a promise,"

 

Dean yawned, and his eyes fluttered closed again trying to fight the shadows. "Sleepy Cas,"

 

"Baby boy your body's been through a couple of marathons today. Sleep, I'll be here waiting,"

 

Castiel, held Dean while he fell back to sleep. A soft tap on the door alerted him to the presence of Jody and another woman. Getting up he made sure Dean was fast asleep and went out to greet them.

 

"Cas, this is Pam, Deans therapist," Jody announced. "How's he doing?"

 

"We spoke for a few minutes then he fell back to sleep. I realised he got scared about our relationship."

 

Jody nodded in understanding watching Dean with soft eyes. "I see, be gentle with him Castiel, that poor boy been through hell."

 

"I know Jody, can't say I helped." Castiel sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Deans special, he's got this spark, a light that I've never seen in anyone before. I know he'll reach his dreams. When he falls, I'll catch him when he flies, I will be his wings,"

 

Both women had hearts in their eyes and held their hands to their chest. "Well ain't that sweet. But something tells me you've been through some crap yourself Castiel. You understand Dean at a deeper level than most people. Come see me when Dean has therapy."

 

Castiel liked this woman and was glad Dean spoke with her. "I agree, I need to stop holding on to the past, and with Dean, that's half what caused me to hurt him. It's no excuse, but I need to deal with my issues big time. Both of us need help, in a way."

 

Jody gathered Castiel into her arms, and the younger man sighed with relief. "Not that you must but, take that boy away, for the holidays. A trip would do you a world of good." 

 

Castiel's eyes lit up at the fantastic idea. "Dean said to me he loves road trips. I will talk to Gabe and Michael and try to plan it around music and dance themes."

 

Pam laughed. "Well, great idea, both of you will benefit from the downtime. Come back refreshed for the new year."  

  


Castiel peeked through the window and saw Dean toss and turn. "I better go back in, don't want him to think I left," Castiel told the woman.

 

"Tell Dean not to worry about class. I'll let everyone know what's going on Castiel."

 

"Thanks, Jody,"

 

"Well sweet cheeks, I need to move, but I'll drop in on Dean tomorrow,"

 

Castiel said goodbye and went to sit by Deans bedside. He was fiddling with his phone planning the surprise trip. They could get to know each other better, find out likes and dislikes while having fun. Yes, this was the best idea.


	10. Wind in my hair.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean start the first leg of their vacation.

Michael fussed over Castiel's car, making sure it was road-ready. Gabriel made sure they had everything they would need, snacks, water, and coupons for free entry or price off meals.  Soon Dean and Castiel were ready to go on their big adventure. 

 

Ellen stood with her arms folded, having packed a cold bag of food in the car. "Now, boys that's food for today, it won't be nice tomorrow,"

 

"Thanks, Ellen," Dean grinned loving the fuss.

 

"Cassie, make sure you ring us when you get to your first stop and every night after that," Gabriel instructed his younger brother.

 

"Guys we'll be fine' I'll look after Dean, see you all in four weeks,"

 

"Dean I got you this," Little Jo ran to Dean and gave him a book she’d brought with her pocket money.

 

"Jo, this is amazing. Look, Cas Jo brought us a book on places we can stop with music and dance themes."

 

Castiel had already planned a lot for this trip, but the little girl was so thoughtful and kind it was sweet.

 

"Thanks, sweetie, this will come in useful. Dean, we better be off if we want to get to our first stop,"

 

With one last goodbye, they were on their way. Castiel drove for the first leg. They put the classic rock station on and nodded and sang to the tunes. 

 

"This was the best idea of Jody's," Grinned Dean.

 

"Hey, it was my idea to do the music and dance tour," Castiel pouted. 

 

"I know, babe, can't wait," Castiel smiled, and grabbed Dean's hand. 

 

"I like when you call me that," Castiel all but whispered.

 

Dean hummed and laid his head on the older man's shoulder. "I know we're going at my own pace. Cas, will you be my boyfriend and make it official?"

 

Castiel saw Dean bite his lip, his face pale as if he would turn him down. "I would be most honoured sweet boy to call you mine,"

 

They sat in silence after that. The sounds of the road carrying them to their first destination. 

  
  


XxxXXX

  
  


Unbeknown to Dean, the Novak boys had money. Castiel had wanted to spoil his best friend now boyfriend. So the first stop in San Diego Castiel he had splashed out. Dean disserved the treat after all he'd been through. 

 

They travelled for over three hours and arrived in San Diego around lunchtime. Castiel parked the car in the hotel parking lot. Dean grabbed the bags seemingly overwhelmed at the lavish hotel.

 

"Cas, we can't be staying here," Dean whispered. 

 

"Come on sweet boy this is an adventure," The older man winked. 

 

Castiel went to the lobby and booked them in for three nights. The Hard Rock Hotel was full of musical memorabilia and Dean stared with his mouth wide open. Castiel corralled his boyfriend into the elevator and to their room. 

 

Dean opened the door and could not believe his eyes. "No fucking way,"

 

The suite had been designed by the Black-Eyed Peas. The room offered a luxurious king-size bed, an oversized lounge and many rock star touches. 

 

"The suite has a private terrace which offers the best views over Woodstock," Castiel told Dean opening the curtains and stepping out catching the glorious view.  

 

"Cas, it's got signed posters, and a Mbar stocked with the Peas favourite snacks," Dean giggled routing through the mini-fridge. 

 

"Do you love it, sweet boy?" Castiel asked his face light.

 

Dean nodded, swinging his arms around and floating down on the bed. "Oh, sweet Jesus yes, this is the life,"

 

"Let's go and grab lunch before we hit the showers and change for the night. We have time to explore the city tomorrow." Castiel grabbed for Dean and pulled him up, kissing his cheek. 

 

They grabbed the cooler and sat by the harbour. Munching all the goodies that Ellen had prepared them. Hand in hand, they wandered around the streets taking in the sights and then went back to the hotel.

 

"So, where are we heading tonight, Cas?"

 

"There are a few bars I want us to try. First, I need a nap, then we can go for food and a night out."

 

Dean and Cas showered staying in their boxes. Dean lay on the huge bed and dropped to sleep. Castiel watched for a while marvelling at the beauty of his boyfriend but soon found himself drifting off to sleep. 

 

The alarm woke them. Dean jumped up, yawning stretching his arms. The bed was soft and comfortable if he stayed there, he would never get up. Dean grabbed a pillow and threw it at Cas. "Come on old man time to get up,"

 

Castiel opened an eye and grunted. "Less of the old, sweet boy,"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting dressed." Dean grabbed his clothes out of his bag. Skinny navy-blue jeans with a khaki canvas belt, a Mediterranean blue t-shirt and a baby blue checked button-down left open. He pulled on his blue Chucks and put a leather bracelet around his wrist and spiked his hair. 

 

"Lookin' good," Whistled Castiel when he walked out. 

 

Dean rolled his eyes but blushed slightly. "Go get dressed Cas,"

 

Castiel grinned and grabbed his clothes. Castiel wore his rusty brown chinos, a white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows and a fawn waistcoat. He put on his grey chucks and tried in vain to tidy up his unruly raven hair, but gave up and shrugged going to find Dean. 

 

Dean checked his boyfriend out swiftly, turning around when Castiel grinned at him. Getting his phone, wallet and the room key. "Come on old man let's get food,"

 

Castiel caught Dean and nibbled at his neck. "Bad boys get punished."

 

Dean turned and laid his hand on Castiel's cheek. "I will tell you if we go too far, but never stop kissing me,"

 

Castiel nodded and kissed Dean on the corner of his mouth. "You look ravishing tonight, I will have to beat everyone away with a stick,"

 

"Have you seen you Cas? Anyway, I only have eyes for you," They entwined their hands and went down for supper. 

 

After they ate, they walked the twelve minutes to the Gaslamp quarter and went into Patricks Gaslamp pub. The white horning over the bar had blues, soul and rock and roll. The place was buzzing and coming alive, and the two men felt like they belonged there.

 

There was a band playing rock, the bar filled to the brim with dancers and revellers having a great time. Castiel pulled forward and went to get a pint of beer and a soft drink for Dean.

 

"You're boy there, underage?"

 

Castiel searched for Dean in the crowd and nodded at the bartender.

 

"Yeah, he's okay being in here?"

 

"Sure love, long as he ain't drinkin'".

 

"Not on my watch," Castiel snorted.

 

"One coke and one pint, that's $8.75."

 

Castiel paid and went back to Dean. "They asked about your age, said it's okay as long as you don't drink." 

 

Dean frowned seemingly troubled by the proposition. "Not sure I could, we'll see,"

 

"My good boy, communications the key,"

 

Deans face lit up at the praise, and he grinned. "The music's awesome,"

 

Some college-age kids came forward and grabbed him sloshing his drink. Castiel grabbed him and motioned for Dean to go and dance. Dean giggled and danced with the girls, what a sight that unfolded before him. Castiel craved every moment committing it to memory. 

 

Castiel got talking to a couple of teachers a couple on their fifth wedding anniversary. Dean lumbered up to him sweaty, out of breath but face glowing. "Hey, babe,"

 

"Dean, this is Brian and Carver, they're on their fifth wedding anniversary,"

 

"Congrats guys," 

 

"You're much younger than Cas. I wondered if you were like Carver and myself. We met at school."

 

Dean's eyes danced with joy. "Yeah, Cas is a great teacher,"

 

They stayed and talked to their new friends for some time. The night got deeper into the early hours. The streets alive, the smells of cooked food assaulted their senses. The moon was high, and she lent them her light as they said goodbye to their new friends.  

 

Walking along harbour drive across the seafront, the rush of waves evident in the air. Halos of light lit up Dean's eyes sparkling like emeralds that bounced off the shimmering water. Castiel cupped his boyfriend's face. "I have never seen anything so captivating in all my life as you, Dean Winchester." 

 

Castiel pressed his lips to Deans, sweetly caressing the plump pink lips. Dean tangled his fingers into Castiel's silky hair. Calming gasps of heartache, bound up hurt, getting lost in a feeling neither had experienced before. That of belonging and finding a home nestled in the chest of each other. A heartbeat thumping as one. Both men were out of breath, staring into endless time. Sinking to the bottom of the ocean but never drowning for they were each other's anchor in life. 

 

Hand in hand, they walked back to the hotel, never entirely taking their eyes off each other. They tumbled into bed, holding on to tightly. The press of skin, there one comfort, whispers of promises their love, warmth in their heart as the two men spiralled into the inky night sky and soared into the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I changed the rating and storyline. I also missed a chapter out. 
> 
> I am fed up with Grammarly I would happily pay a Beta a small amount to get my fics checked over. If anyone can help let me know. xxx


	11. In my style.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel takes Dean on the trolly bus and takes him to a show and museum. Dean enjoys being with his boyfriend and letting his hair down.

The next day after a bountiful breakfast of pancakes, bacon and fresh fruits. They walked the seven minutes to Convention Centre Station and got on the green line Trolley bus. It took them around fourteen minutes, and they jumped off. Dean laughed as Castiel grabbed him and swung him off the steps.

 

They walked the four minutes to the blue line at Old Town and caught the Trolley bus to Pearl St and Draper Av and walked the rest of the way to their destination.

 

Dean gazed at the building. Castiel had brought him to the Museum of Contemporary Art. 

 

“Cas what have you brought me to see?” Dean asked with childish delight. 

 

“Sweet boy, wait and see,”

 

Dean pouted but Castiel pulled him in and sucked on his protruding lip. “Come I have the tickets we will be late.”

 

Castiel pulled Dean along and spoke to a man in the ticket office. They sat down in their seats with others milling around. Only fifty seats so not overly big but Dean was excited to see what was going on. 

 

Dean watched the dancers, it was fluid, they moved in time and space. Dean was mesmerized he’d never seen anything so contemporary, before and loved it never knew dancing could be so free. Castiel hardly watched the dancers, but observed Deans face, the pictures on his face told him a mesmerizing story. 

 

When they had finished Castiel pulled Dean forward and one of the dancers waved.

 

“Castiel nice to see you after all this time,”

 

“You too, Zane.” Castiel turned to his boyfriend and pulled him closer. “Dean this is Zane he choreographed this troop,”

 

“Nice to meet you, I have never seen anything like that, it was so free, you flew like birds,”

 

Zane grinned and grabbed a towel from his bag and wiped the dripping sweat from his face. “Thank you, Dean. Castiel tells me you are learning, he’s a good teacher,” 

 

“Well, I’m trying at least,”

 

“You have to have a starting point, my friend,”

 

“True," Dean acknowledged. 

 

"It was lovely seeing you again Zane. Text me if you’re in my neck of the woods and we'll meet up,”

 

“Will do Castiel and nice meeting you Dean,”

 

“Same,” Dean nodded. 

 

“Come love let's go and explore the exhibitions.”

 

They wandered about for a couple of hours. Then Castiel told Dean they needed to go, so they started to walk away from the museum. 

 

“Where are we going Cas?”

 

“I need to find La Jolla Bl & Marine St, up here Dean, follow my phone.

 

Dean twined his fingers with the older man and happily strolled aside him. They jumped on the blue line to the Old Town Transit Centre and saw Mission Bay park out of the window. Dean loved the views and was taking pictures as they went.

 

“Michael asked if we are okay?” Castiel said tapping his phone.

 

“And Gabe?” Grinned Dean.

 

“Asked if we were using protection.”

 

Dean snorted and laughed. “Sounds like Gabe.”

 

They walked the fourteen minutes to the green line and got off at the Santa Fe Depot. Then walked the three minutes to the blue line and got on at America Plaza station. They hopped off and switched busses and continued their joinery to Park Bl & Naval Hospital. They walked the short distance to the museum.

 

Castiel showed his tickets and they sat outside. “Watch love this is going live. This is a water dance and they teach us about water conservation. 

 

Dean and Castiel were mesmerised having never seen anything quite like it. They walked around the museum, but Deans stomach was making loud noises so they sat down and ate in a restaurant close to the museum. They caught a bus back and it dropped them back near Patricks and they ambled back to there hotel shortly after two. 

 

“I don’t know about you sweet boy, but I need a nap after all that travelling,”

 

“You know when you are old when you need to nap Cas,” Dean quipped. 

 

Castiel stoked Deans face. “You like that I'm older baby," 

 

Dean shivered and watched the older man strip down to tee shirt and boxes. “You need to rest, come cuddle with me,”

 

Dean stood there unsure what to do. “That was an order sweet boy, strip down and come to bed,”

 

“Yes, sir,” Dean did as asked and lay his head on top of Castiel’s chest. 

 

“I had a great day thank you,”

 

Castiel kissed the top of Dean's head. “It's not over yet, now rest,”

 

Castiel hummed a soft tune, and stroked Dean hair, until his breathing evened out, kissing him again, he closed his eyes and smiled contently and tightened his arms around his boy.

  
  


XxxXXX

  
  


Castiel woke Dean up and they both jumped into the shower, getting dressed for their night out. Dean was excited wandering where his boyfriend was going to take him tonight.

 

“Take your college I.D sweetheart, you don’t have to pay the cover fee then,”

 

Dean fished about in his wallet and found the card pushing it to the front of his leather wallet snapping it shut. 

 

“I’m ready,” Dean smiled.

 

Castiel grabbed Deans face and hummed. “This is a good look on you baby, happiness,”

 

Dean ducked in his in shyness. “I can’t help it half the time, you make me feel like a helium balloon,”

 

Castiel snorted and kissed his boy. “Your lips are addictive.” 

 

Dean giggled. “Come on Cas, show me where we’re going.”

 

Castiel entwined their fingers together and pulled Dean towards the door making sure he had the room key. 

 

They walked the now familiar path to the Gaslight area, and Castiel led Dean to the doors of ‘The Shout House,’

 

“The food here is great and they have a band or piano night depending on the day of the week,”

 

“Sound’s great,”

 

Castiel had booked them a table so they got seated and perused the menu. Castiel started with ‘Mac and Blue’ balls, and Dean had the Bavarian soft pretzel. 

 

Dean moaned into his bite of beer and cheese it was delicious. “Cas this is amazing,”

 

“These balls are pretty good here have a bite,” They both swooped bites of food and Castiel started telling Dean about his college days. 

 

They both had Bob's burger a half-pound Angus blend with caramelized onions and cheese. Smoothed in the house sauce with fries. Castiel tried Rock you like a Hurricane. The house signature Malibu, and Bacardi black. Dean stuck with a coke. 

 

A tall man with midnight skin and dark glasses sat at the piano and started to play the blues. Dean lent his head on Castie’sl shoulder and listen to the music that lifted his soul. 

 

“We move on tomorrow baby boy, have you enjoyed your stay?”

 

“Yes, it’s a city I would re-visit,”

 

Castiel lifted Deans hand and kissed it. “I’m glad you’re having a good time, sweetheart,”

 

“So far it's been amazing Cas,”

 

They walked under the stars hand in hand Dean asking questions about their next destination.

  
  


XxxXXX

 

 

The next day they went down and had an early breakfast packed their bags and took the room key back. Castiel put their case in the back of the car and Dean took one last lingering glance at the hotel lobby.

 

“I can’t wait to get to Vegas, always wanted to go. But what have you planned for us Cas?” Dean asked trying to prise information out of the older man. 

 

“You will have to wait and see. We have a five-hour drive ahead of us, so we best get started. Depending on traffic we should arrive at our destination around one in the afternoon.”

 

“Okay point me in the right direction navigator,”

 

Castiel grinned. “Crank up the music Dean, and engage,”

 

“Nerd,” Dean said shaking his head but glad they were underway to the next adventure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got everything from google and google maps. I researched the Trolly maps and museums. The pubs and bars, prices, music est. Its all on their websites. I live in the UK and not in the US.


	12. Hiatus

Sorry guys I have Gallstones and in and out of the hospital. I have to wait for my operation. I have little energy and not well. I want you to know why there is a delay. Xxx


	13. In my mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas, go out for supper. Dean encounters a douche and Castiel teaches him how to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Homophobic language.

"That's it, breathe, let your lungs expand. Let the blood pump through your veins. Insist your mind goes quiet."

Dean squeezed his eyes closed, hands by his sides, kneeling on the floor. He could feel Castiel's presence pass by but stayed in the moment.

"This will help you, sweetheart, anytime you feel panicky or out of your depth. I'm with you. By your side, holding you, guiding you."

Dean let his boyfriend's voice drift over him like he was floating on calm waters. 

"So beautiful on your knees Dean, obeying me," Castiel ran his fingers through his boy's light brown hair. 

"Cas," Dean whispered his mind was flying free. If only his body would do the same. 

It was if Castiel knew the film reel that was spinning around Deans mind. "One day soon, baby, I will set you free."

Xxxxx

Dean lay flat on his back, on the large king-size bed. Two encompassing windows sat overlooking the strip. The room had that modern feel, unlike the last hotel. 

"Dean I've booked for us to have dinner at Koi. Get up lazy and get dressed." Castiel grumbled, with no harsh edge as he saw Dean laid on their bed. 

Dean flipped to his stomach and admired Castiel dressed in black jeans and a short-sleeved blue shirt with star accents. He grabbed his light blue cardigan and sat and tied his chucks. 

"I won't take long," Dean grinned. Rushing off for a shower. He dressed in his olive-green; oil washed Henley with stonewashed jeans.

Dean grabbed his shoes and kissed Castiel on the cheek. "Ready,"

"You look amazing." Castiel stood and admired his boyfriend. He grabbed his wallet and the room key. Holding the door for Dean. 

"Such a gentleman," Dean teased, but secretly he revelled how the older man treated him like he was made of gold.

At Koi, they sat on a table just for them, in the living room. The lights were romantically low. The back wall was covered in green bamboo and was reminiscent of a Japanese house. The seats were a mottled grey leather. The overall ambience set the modern feel to the restaurant.

There were candles on the table, with large wine glasses and artistically cut flowers out of fruits. Dean had never seen such opulence before; he was mesmerized. 

Dean did not know where to start, but Castiel clasped his hand. "This is a treat sweetheart, enjoy,"

"This place is wonderful, Cas," Dean whispered in awe. He could not think of a time where he had been so spoiled and loved since his mom had passed. Maybe she had been right; angels really were watching over him. 

Both men started with a Lobster salad. They delighted in the delicate flavours of lime, avocado and the tang of the seafood on their hungry lips. They drank fruity red wine that had notes of rose and liquorice. Castiel spoke about starting school in the fall semester. And what Dean would be studying in the second year. 

Castiel had the braised short ribs in a plum wine reduction and Dean the grilled lamb chops with Shishito potato mash. They hardly spoke, humming over the mouth-watering delights in front of them. Castiel asked for the bill but did not let Dean see the amount. 

They strolled through the lively streets; hands entwined full of the sumptuous banquet. Castiel watched the waterfall of colour wash over Deans face, his long eyelashes framing his haphazard freckles. Castiel's heartbeat skipped, it had only been a short time in this boy's presence, but his feelings were filling him to the brim like those at the slot machines.

When they got back to their room, they got undressed and slipped into bed. The crisp Egyptian cotton sheets, cooling their heated skin. Castiel ran his fingers gently through Deans hair and hummed Ramble on, the beautiful boy falling fast asleep in his arms. 

The next day Dean used the pool while Castiel caught up with emails and rang his brothers. Dean came back seemingly irritated. He paced back and forth, marching a well-trod route on the illustrious caramel carpet. 

Castiel raised his eyebrow and watched his boyfriend. Silently he grabbed a box from his bag and put the wooden triangle on his bedside table. 

"Dean, stop! Kneel before me," Castiel rasped his voice slightly harsh getting the message over that this behaviour needed to stop.

Dean's eyes were wild; he shook his head, trying to shake the rushing noise that invaded his senses. His hands clenched tightly to his shirt, shaking, with trepidation. "Now Dean,"

Dean winced his body uncooperative. But he tried his best and kneeled on the fluffy white carpet near their bed. 

Castiel only had on a pair of bright pink yoga pants; his bare feet muffled on the carpeted floor. "Listen to me baby, stop, think, breathe,"

Dean nodded and let his eyes flutter close like the beat of a butterfly wing. Deans breathing was erratic and stuttered, coming out in a pulled, rattly draw. Castiel went over to the metronome and clicked it; the dial started to tick back and forth.

Castiel placed a steady hand on his boy's shoulder, grounding him, offering reassurance. "Listen, Dean, count your breathing, get into the rhythm. Steady now, that's it. Go to your special place,"

Deans mind wondered, but the present ticking caught his dreams, and he followed the road to the theatre, near the college. He was dancing high above the clouds, and everyone watched in amazement. 

Running his fingers up and down Deans back, watching every twitch and expression on Deans face. Knowing he needed to get the truth out of his boyfriend. "That's it baby, calm, steady. Tell me, baby, why were you so agitated earlier?" Castiel encourage his boy, "You may speak,"

Dean swallowed hard; he fought back the bile that threatened to flood his mouth. "I-I was swimming and, and," Dean gulped he felt his heart swing faster but found the steady beat once again.

"Steady now, that's it," Castiel ran calming fingers through Deans sweaty hair. 

"I got out and dried off, it was great, I-I love Swimming, not had much of a chance. Anyway, I went across to reception. I wanted to know what time the show started tonight and if we had to book supper. We did. I laughed with Ebony, and this man saunters up a pompous dick." Dean tensed, fists clenched, and his body dusted with hues of crimson. 

"Hush, now Dean you're doing so good for me. Breathe. Listen to my voice," Castiel's low baritone commanded. 

Dean rested his chin on his chest and let his boyfriends voice swallow him whole. The ticking of the metronome, decreasing, his heart rate thumping to the unknown beat. 

Dean let out a slow breath, his voice slightly raised. "The man comes up to me and tries to get Ebony's attention."

_ "Excuse me, sir, but I'm dealing with this customer first. One of our team should be free soon." _

_ "Letting fags into this establishment and giving them preferential treatment. What the fuck is this world coming to?" The man thumped his hand on the desk, startling us both. _

_ "Sir please don't use that offensive language here. You need to wait, in line,"  _

_ "Ebony stated, keeping calm. I was shaking slightly, from the cold of the man's proximity to myself." _

_ "I'm a paying customer you should be dealing with me. Did you know this thing and his whatever…"  _

_ That man called me a thing, and he was going to say disparaging comments about you and...I had no idea how I was going to react."  _

_ Ebony was trying her best to stay tactful. But her chocolate drop eyes grew angry, and her tone sharpened you could cut yourself on it.  _

_ "Sir stop, anyone can use our hotels. We do not discriminate; everyone is entitled to a stress-free environment," _

_ A tall thin man came sliding up to Ebony; his name badge read Harry. He had flaming ginger hair and reminded me of the prince. I could see he was highly irritated. I stood still not sure what to do. I said nothing, Cas." _

_ "Sir, we don't allow offensive language in my hotel. You're upsetting our customers. I think it would be best if you leave. If not, I will report this incident to the police," Harry glared at him, his arms tightly folded. _

_ "I stood there shocked; the man opened and closed his mouth like a fish on land gasping for breath. His face bright red, eyes bulging. I thought he was going to hit Harry or me. If it was a cartoon, I swear I would have seen smoke coming out of his nostrils. The man stomped his foot like an enraged toddler.  _

_ "I won't be coming back, be telling all my friends and family,"  _

_ We watched him angrily storm off towards the elevators. "If they're anything like you, can't say we will miss them," Ebony said. _

_ Harry made an affirmative noise in his throat. "Ebony please make sure our guest and his partner get a free meal for the rest of their stay. Also, a free two nights stay in any of our hotels. A show of goodwill that we welcome all guests, no matter who they are." _

_ "I said, thank you. I was speechless. Ebony patted my hand and gave me the details. I never saw the man again. But Cas I could not stand up for us. I was so scared," Tears rolled down Deans cheeks unabated.  _

Castiel kept his temper in check. If he  _ ever  _ saw this man, he would have words. "Dean, you kept yourself safe, was out of your depth. I'm not angry with you. I am proud of how you handled yourself," Castiel reassured his boyfriend. 

Dean blinked several times and stared into those sky-blue eyes that brought him so much hope and comfort. "You are?"

Castiel smiled softly and nodded. "You did not panic; you let Harry handle it, did not raise your voice at the man. You did not put yourself in any danger. For this particular situation, you performed the correct actions,"

Dean rolled his tongue in his mouth, assessing his actions. "I-I guess I did, no clue what he had under his coat."

"Stand for me baby," Castiel held his hand out to steady his lover.

Dean gratefully held on to warm, smooth hands. Hands that told a thousand stories, hands that were calm and would wrap him in a cocoon of warmth. 

Castiel kissed Deans forehead and hummed in glee having his boy back in his arms. "How do you feel?"

Dean squirmed in Castiel's gentle embrace, "Agitated. My skin itches but I can't scratch it, to bring myself relief,"

"I know just the thing that will help. Do you trust me?" Blue eyes bore into Dean's skull.

"Yes," With no hesitation on his part. 

"Stand still, don't move," Castiel gently ordered. 

Dean stood, his breathing calm, he did not watch his boyfriend but could hear a bag being unzipped and a rustle of fabric. Dean could hear Castiel remove his clothing, and he suddenly felt overdressed.

"Dean remove your clothes please," Again an order, in a tone that was dominant, hard as steel, and yet an underlying layer of worship. 

Dean divested himself of his clothes and folded them neatly on a nearby high back chair. Standing back on the rug, the fabric as soft as silk yet tickled his toes; it was a strange sensation. 

"Now, I brought some nylon rope, it's good for beginners. At any time, use your safe word, and I can have you out in a flash," Castiel placed scissors down on his bedside table. 

"Yes, sir," Dean trembled, but this time it was not out of fear but intrigue and excitement. 

"I think this will help you in your current predicament. Stay still, breathe, and let me take over,"

Castiel started with the middle of the rope around the back of Deans neck. Below Deans breastbone, he tied a double coin knot, at an equal distance down the front of Deans torso he tied two identical knots. 

Castiel kissed Deans earlobe nibbling at his neck. "What's your colour sweetheart?"

Dean shivered, and groaned, Cas was going to kill him. "Green sir,"

"Good, so good for me, Dean," Castiel praised his boy.

Castiel kissed Dean's neck with reverence. Tasting chlorine and apple shower gel that his lover favoured. Castiel brought both ropes under Deans crotch, making sure it did not pinch and pulled it up the back. Threading them under the rope that was around the back of Deans neck pulling the ends through.

Castiel then split the ropes and began winding the rope around itself, so it looked like a noose. Castiel tied an overhand knot and admired his work, making sure Deans skin was not rubbed or to red. He wanted this to be a pleasant sensation. 

Dean felt nimble fingers caress his skin. Now and then Castiel would kiss his spine, or neck, and murmur words of praise into his very being. Dean was not ready for sex, but the words sent blood rushing to his cock. 

"You're so beautiful for me, Dean. Look at you with my ropes twined around you, obeying my every command, being so good for me," 

Castiel tweaked Deans nipples which made him arch his back into Castiel's firm body. Dean could feel the hard outline of his Dom's cock; he felt a sense of euphoria that he could affect this amazing man so. 

Castiel threads each rope under Deans arms under the long ropes at his breastbone above the first knot. Then he pulled them back under his armpits. Threading each rope under the vertical ropes of Deans broad back starting below the previously tied overhand knot. 

Castiel wound the ropes five times and secured it with an overhand knot. Dean watched as a pattern emerged. Castiel brought each rope to the front and threaded it under the side of the vertical ropes between the first and second knot. He pulled each rope gently around the back. 

Castiel repeated the motion once again, front to back, he tied the rope and anchored the tip. Standing back to admire his work. He kissed the top of Dean's head and felt pleased with himself.

"Now tell me how you feel?" Castiel commanded, checking all the ropes were not overly tight but tight for what he wanted to achieve. 

Dean felt his mind drift to the clouds; he could touch the sun from here. The ropes held him tight, like the embrace of a lover, but most of all, he felt safe. What was he concerned about earlier? All his troubles seem to slip away. 

"Dean baby, what's your colour?" Castiel asked checking in,"

"Green, so green." Dean giggled, swaying slightly. 

Castiel kissed Deans neck, nibbling his ear, tweaking his erect nipples, with long slender fingers. Taking his crimson face in his hand, he pressed light butterfly kisses to his perfect cherry lips. 

Dean moaned, wanting more, wanted to be devoured by this man. Their mouths were hot and desperate, wet lips and teeth. Dean parted his lips. Castiel wanted to bathe in the taste of his lover, wanted to drown in the moans and warmth that flooded his belly. 

They both moaned softly, Castiels thumb caressing Deans heated flesh. Castiel peppered heated kisses into Deans jaw and neck, sucking delicious marks into his skin. Admiring his work, laving his tongue over the red bruise when Dean hissed. 

Castiel glanced up and got lost in Deans, emerald thrall. "I love you," Castiel whispered, not wanting to be rejected but his heart would burst if he could not name this feeling in his chest. 

"I love you to Cas, let me out of these ropes, sir, I need your arms around me, now,"

Castiel smiled the corner of his eyes crinkled, his eyes midnight blue. "Anything for you love,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still waiting, still sick but I manged this Xxx


End file.
